imCOOLonTHAT.com

The state of rap music is going under like the Titanic. We’ve long gone away from talented rhyming skills into autotuned up Rappers singing and chanting on every track…..THEN ALONG CAME GUCCI MANE!

As I write this I started to get happy that I was going to finally post something on my Nemesis Gucci, until I realized that I actually don’t have a problem personally with the Gentleman. I mean…He’s done nothing wrong in selling his music. He’s Never said anything to me personally…AND THEN IT DAWNED ON ME………..GUCCI’S JUST PART OF THE PROBLEM!!!!

THIS BIGGER PROBLEM I SEE IS IN ALL OF THE THE DUMB IGNORANT BASTARDS THAT ARE DRINKING THE GUCCI MANE KOOL-AID…FOR EXAMPLE:

• RECORD EXECUTIVES who would put this bullshit out.
• PROGRAM DIRECTORS in radio and television.
• MAGAZINES that say that he’s “RAPS NEXT BIG SUPERSTAR”
• YOUNG AMERICA who don’t know the difference between good and bad Music
• FOLLOWERS who will just take anything that is spoon fed to them.

These are the TOP 10 THOUGHTS that pop in my head when I hear GUCCI MANE Music..

1. DOES HE KNOW THAT RAP MUSIC NEEDS TO RHYME AT SOME POINT?
2. DID HE JUST SAY “NEMONADE”?
3. WHY DOES THIS BUMPKIN STILL WEAR ALL THAT FAKE JEWELRY?
4. MY SON BETTER GO TO COLLEGE!!!!
5. I BET GUCCI HAS PROBLEMS READING.
6. HIS LIPS LOOK LIKE TWO BURNT PORK SAUSAGE LINKS.
7. DIDN’T I HEAR THAT RHYME ON SESAME STREET???
8. “DANCE NIGGA DANCE”
9. IS THAT A POT BELLY UNDER A MISKEEN SHIRT? (WHO STILL WEARS MISKEEN?)
10. HE’D BE A GREAT SPOKESPERSON FOR SLAVERY

The problem I have with his music is that I feel that IT’S EVERYTHING THAT RAP MUSIC FOUGHT AGAINST. My generation (the Hip-Hop Generation) went from The Hood to Good and I think when you have DUMBED DOWN lyrics and only rely on Beats and Chants then you are being a “Necrophiliac of the Rap Game” (for those that have to google Necrophiliac IT MEANS THAT HE’S FUCKING SOMETHING THAT’S ALREADY DEAD!

THERE’S A LOT OF THINGS I’M COOL WITH…BUT GUCCI MANE…IMCOOLONTHAT!!

…oh yeah.. Wocka Flocka, OJ The Juiceman and definitely Plies too.

OUTTAKES:

HE’D BE A GREAT ACTOR IN A SLAVERY MOVIE

HE LOOKS LIKE A RUNAWAY SLAVE

HE’S AN INDICATION THAT SLAVERY IS GOING TO MAKE STRONG  RETURN

“GUCCI MANE” SHOULD BE RENAMED “SLAVEY MANE”

NOW LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW AND SHARE THIS WITH YOUR FRIENDS. http://bit.ly/GUCCIMANE

OH, AND SUBSCRIBE UP TOP!

FOLLOW @NILEEVANS ON TWITTER

The Bluetooth headset is a much needed device, especially in California where the law says that you must use a hands-free device in order to talk on the phone while driving…but there is a distinct difference between a Bluetooth user and what I like to call a “Bluetoofer”

Bluetoofer – |ˈbloōˌtoōfur|  noun.  One who wears a Bluetooth headset as an accessory?

I’m so glad that the evolution of the Bluetooth Headset has finally steered away from the BLINKING BLUE “I NEED ATTENTION” LIGHT…that used to famously PISS ALL OF US OFF. You know that FOOL up in the club lookin like Levar Burton in Star Trek or somehow acting like he’s talking to Mission Control. As if we all don’t know that he can’t talk to anyone over the loud Lil Jon track Blaring inside the club.

The Bluetooth Headset is the equivalent of what a Beeper was back in the day. It gave the APPEARANCE of IMPORTANCE, until they were available to the Masses, which then diluted the image. Bluetoofers still think that having these gadgets are cool even though local swapmeets carry most of these products now in an under $20 bin.

These are the true characteristics of a Bluetoofer.

• He’s usually someone’s Uncle.
• He’s 35+ Years Old.
• He Might have been a Bus Driver at Some point in his life.
• He wears Mock Turtlenecks / Hardbottom Shoes with Jeans/ Black Leather Jackets
• He greets you with a Pimpy.. “WHAT IT DEW!!!”(even thought he’s too old for that.)
• He Watches a lot of Action Films/CSI Shows
• He looks like he hangs out with Charles Barkley
• He wears Sunglasses in the Club
• He’s an OFF-DUTY PASTOR.

BOTTOM LINE…WHEN YOU’RE DONE…PUT IT IN YOUR POCKET!!

THERE’S A LOT OF THINGS IM COOL WITH..BUT BLUETOOFERS…

….I’M COOL ON THAT!!!!!!

SHOUTOUT TO BLUETOOTHDOUCHEBAG.COM, A FUNNY SITE I FOUND WHEN RESEARCHING A PICTURE FOR MY POST.

It’s 2010, There’s a Black President now, and though we all haven’t gotten our “Obama Hookup” yet that we are owed. You know…

• HEY OBAMA, IMMA NEED A HOOKUP ON THESE TAXES.
• HEY OBAMA, IMMA NEED A HOOKUP ON THIS ROBBERY CASE IM FACING.
• HEY OBAMA, IMMA KILL MY WIFE IF SHE DON’T SHUT THE FUCK UP, SO CAN YOU HAVE SECRET SERVICE DISPOSE OF HER YAPPY ASS FOR ME PLEASE?

You know, just exploring all the new advantages that we’re SUPPOSED to get with having our own Black President.  Especially since White People have been having the hook-up for so many years. LOL…………  Yeah Right!!!

Anyway I say all of that to say, that it’s a new day in America and it’s about time we start taking responsibility for our own actions.  We can stop BLAMING WHITE PEOPLE for EVERYTHING….

WHITE PEOPLE DIDN’T MAKE YOU….

• …Not go to College.
• …Get that Neck Tattoo
• …Have 4 Babies by the Guy who didn’t go to College and has a Neck Tattoo.
• …Then Name those kids…MERCEDES, PORCSHA, MASERATI and LIL KIA (she’s got a different Daddy)

Now, surely SLAVERY and “THE WHITE MAN” have played a significant role in us being DISADVANTAGED and HAVING A FUCKED UP ECONOMY, so I will give credit where credit is due. But AT SOME POINT YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT “YOURSELF” for some of the mistakes YOU’VE made. Now, Lets look at some of the things…WHITE PEOPLE DID GIVE US.

BlackPlanet.com / AutoTune / Lamborghini Doors / Daisy Duke Shorts / The Art of Hairweaving / Grilled Cheese Sammiches / COCO aka Mrs. Ice -T…Need I say MORE?

THERE’S A LOT OF THINGS I’M COOL WITH… BUT STILL BLAMING WHITE PEOPLE FOR ERRYTHING…

…I’M COOL ON THAT!!!

@NILEEVANS on TWITTER

TO SHARE THIS COPY:  http://bit.ly/BLAMINGWHITEPEOPLE

I’M A COMMENT WHORE, SO LEAVE ONE DAMNIT!!!

There are common and uncommon names, in the world, but one thing I am sure of, is that there is some little Black Girl who is about to take her first breath into the world…see the first person in her world… and hear the worst name anyone could ever think of… in the World. “Oooh Girl! Yo new baby La-Tayshaniquamanesha is so beautiful” …Unfortunately her Mother and “Absentee” Father have set her up for a LIFE FAIL. To help avoid this we can follow a couple simple rules:

1. Do not try to mix your two names together. Shawn+Jeanetta does not = Shawnetta.  Kenya + Andre does not = Kendre [This is not a 90’s R&B Group (ex. BellBivDevoe or Jodeci)…this is your CHILD!]

2. Avoid the Prefix De, D’, La, Tay [Your not French or Italian]

3. Avoid the Suffix -isha  -ika -ita -etta -ay

4. Do not name your child after a car, type of purse or cologne or a dumb ass NOUN.

5. Avoid Actors and Athletes. We have enough Kobe’s and Beyonce’s to go around now.

See, names like that don’t make it to the Suburbs. They don’t go to College. They get pregnant at 16 just like her mother did…BECAUSE SHE CAME INTO THE WORLD  DISADVANTAGED,  AND NOT IN FINANCE, BUT IN MONIKER.

We all know the ramifications of having a BAD name, whether it’s BEING THE BUTT OF JOKES, EVERYONE KNOWING THAT YOU ARE FROM THE HOOD, OR MOST COMMONLY GETTING A JOB OTHER THAN THE FAST FOOD INDUSTRY.

But WHITE PEOPLE shouldn’t think they are exempt. These celebrities  Chris Martin (Coldplay) and Gweneth Paltrow named their child “APPLE”. Bruce Willis and Demi Moore: RUMER, TALULLAH BELL and SCOUT???? WOWZERS!… And fellow Black Celebrities like Tony Braxton with children named “Deizel” and “Denim”. This Broad named her kids Gas and Jeans!

Lets be creative People!! You don’t have to name your child, Sydney or Madison which I now group as GHETTO TRANSITION names, since some of these Hood Children damn sure don’t fit those names.  All I ask is that you be CREATIVE and MEANINGFUL, so that if the name does sound Mildly Ghetto, they can redeem it by saying  “KELAKAYKAY” means “Beautiful Spirit” in Swahili (*side eye look*)

My name is Nile (not NILES), a it’s a very self explanatory name and it’s of African descent. It’s originality makes it a creative choice, since there are not many that have the name, but it’s more AWESOME  because… I’M FUCKIN FINE!!! But anyway…

These are some ACTUAL GHETTO NAMES I have heard of and come across:

1. Peter Rabbit – This is come real childrensbook bullshit, but an actual name of a person I know.
2. Nemesis – Beautiful little girl with a HELL of a name.
3. Candida – Wikipedia : Of ..“YEASTS” and not cookin yeasts.
4. And the best of all is pronounced “Ab-suh-dee” but spelled… “ABCD”
5. MAN, WHAT THE FUCK?!… ABCD??  Maybe it would be more fitting if her name was: “ABCDENT” …because that’s what she was!! Yet, I digress…

THERE’S A LOT OF THINGS I’M COOL WITH…..BUT GHETTO BABY NAMES???… I’M COOL ON THAT!!!!

*PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW!!!*

@NileEvans on Twitter

COPY & SHARE ON TWITTER : http://bit.ly/GHETTOBABYNAMES

photo credit :karim Iliya